Everybody else is doing it
by MeanderCat
Summary: Plot: Self-insert. Plot twist: There is no plot; it's just me making all my wildest dreams come true lolol M for language


**I just need to de-stress and try to clear out my mind. idk if I plan to keep going with this. Like, I have some other little ideas but I don't know if I care enough to want to write it. So for now, thank you for your time and enjoy~**

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So I'm totally fucked for this exam and decided that it was time for a walk to get some oxygen flowing up to the brain. Exercise is good for you, guys. Seriously. Anyway, walked out of my dormpartment, turned on Pokemon Go, and started catching pokemon and getting that stardust. Eventually, I thought I made it to the park but when I looked up, it was like, the middle of the woods. No streets or sounds of cars anywhere. In the distance, I saw these three trees with doors. Getting closer to them, I saw that they had symbols (does this sound familiar?).

The door on the left had a dragon ball on it. The door on the right had that leaf symbol that the Konoha ninjas had on their headbands (I should probably tell you that I never got far into Naruto, sorry). And the one in the middle had the Strawhat jolly roger (stole these doors from Nightmare Before Christmas, in case you didn't notice yet). So this was a no-brainer. Of course I was going to enter the door of Naruto world to get me a nice bowl of ramen buuuuuut then these dugong things (are they canon? I can't remember; they're being little shits right now) popped out of nowhere and beat me into the One Piece door so I guess I'm going to the One Piece world.

I opened the door and looked around. It's a graveyard. That tree with the door goes to a tombstone door in a graveyard. I knew graveyards were creepy as crap but this was weird, and I'm the one writing this story (what the hell am I doing to myself). Judging from this purple sky, it's probably Kuraigana (I think I spelled that wrong) where Mihawk lives. At that point, Perona came floating by and we made eye contact.

"Are you a zombie?" she gasped.

Excuse me? Am I really that ugly? To be fair, I did just pop out of a tombstone, so it's a reasonable assumption. But I didn't want to be rude to her so I replied, "we can't all be as pretty as you." I'm not joking; I think Perona's pretty. Her eyes are a little weird, but it adds to her gothic charm.

"You think I'm pretty?" she smiled.

"Yeah, seriously. Your gothic style is adorable."

"I like you. I'll let you be my servant. Go get me a hot cocoa and bagel sandwich!"

I looked around. "And, um, where would I even go to find that stuff?" Shit, I think I just indirectly accepted to becoming her servant.

"I don't know, that's your job. Figure it out!"

"Whoa," I held my hands up, "I just got here and I'm not even from this world."

"You're useless," Perona pouted.

I looked at her. "Girrrrrrl, when you look that cute, you need to go out and share it with the world. Let's go find a café."

* * *

"So I saw on Crunchyroll that there's a new Jeans Freak figure and I clicked on it out of curiosity and it was a nice one of Rebecca BUT THEN. THEN. I saw this related item and it's Ace. Sitting so goddamn provocatively on a chair, I was like, 'what the hell.' I read the description and it said he was a part of some One Piece SOC series or something so of course I Google search images of 'one piece soc' (you should totally do this, btw) and holy crap. The Marco one, I had already seen (of course lol) but I didn't know that there were more. I think the one that made me flip out the most was Sabo. All he was doing was just sitting backwards on a freaking chair. That's it. But HOLY SHIT he looked so damn good like what the hell. Pretty sure the more I scrolled, all I could say was 'what the fuck,' 'are you fucking kidding me,' and 'holy shit.' I used to think it was so dumb that all the female figures had giant boobs and skimpy outfits but after seeing these guys, I feel like I can kind of understand why these things are so popular. Guys almost never look this good in real life. Don't get me wrong, though. It's not like I would bang any of them, that just sounds weird – I feel like I'm boring you right now."

Perona sat across from me with her chin resting on her two hands, looking bored as crap. "Boys are dumb," Perona said as she made a face.

"That's because they are. I'm talking about men here."

"Still dumb."

"Well, you spent most of your life with Moriah, Absalom, and Hogback so of course your impression of men is going to be hella poor. Want to go shoe shopping?"

And so, Perona and I went shoe shopping for the rest of that afternoon and then I went back to the graveyard to get back to my place, with a fabulous new pair of boots in tow. And then I buckled down and hit those books EXCEPT THAT I DIDN'T ARRRRGH I'M SO SCREWED

The end

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 **I'm still going to go boot shopping tomorrow, I don't care. I need boots for the fall/winter but every time I've gone window shopping, I keep looking at the ones with like, 2.5+ inch heels and I specifically left those behind because I know I can't walk as fast in those than I would in something with shorter heels. They're so cute, though...**


End file.
